“He’s YOUR dog, not mine!” “He won’t listen to me!” “You’re the only one that matters to her” “She doesn’t even like me.”
Have you ever said any of these phrases? Or heard your partner say them to you? It’s not at all uncommon for the doggy wrench to be thrown in the middle of a relationship. Some of the longest relationships have had their rough patches due to the dog. You are not alone!
I’ve had many people declare that I saved their marriage after coming in and helping them sort out their puppy problems. Sometimes it’s a basic behavior fix, and other times it may take a different perspective on the part of the humans in the house.
Look, fundamentally, you ALL are a part of your dog’s pack. You may not all have the same relationship with one another, but everybody living in the house is seen as a pack member to the dog. Whether or not they listen to you and/or “like” you, often has a lot to do with how you are thinking about them and the amount of interaction (or lack thereof) with them.
I tell my clients (and even family members) that all it really takes is 5 minutes a day to begin to build a bond with the family dog. They don’t listen to you? Grab a bag of treats and have them earn some through basic obedience or even tricks and games. Take turns filling the food bowl and placing it down for the dog – that way they can see that you provide for them as well. Small changes like this can have a HUGE impact on how your dog views you!
Sometimes, all it takes is finding something you like about the dog, maybe their ears flop over when they look at you a certain way, the way their eyes sparkle when they wake up in the morning and greet you, their coat is extra shiny in the sun, maybe they’re really cute when they get a squeaky ball and want to play. By finding things you enjoy about the dog that you can focus on, you’ll begin to shift your body language and energy towards them – and they will notice and respond with similar positive interactions with you!
It should be noted that if there are more severe behaviors happening such as biting, or attacking a family member – that should be addressed by a Behaviorist for more in-depth training and behavior modification.